Code Red: Jaws 3

The debut feature of Lea Thompson, and also starring a young Dennis Quaid, Jaws 3 was a franchise entry to the 3-D fad of the 1980s.  Oh, and it sucked.  Jaws 3 sucks to a laughable degree.  Somehow, some way, another Jaws film was produced after this monstrosity (the also terribly awesome Jaws: The Revenge).

Why It’s Bad:  Sharks can’t swim backwards, and they sure as fuck can’t roar.  They’d probably need – oh, I don’t know – LUNGS to do that.  The film’s pacing is at times agonizing and the effects are pretty dreadful.  No one, not even Louis Gosset Jr., puts on a particularly good performance.

Why It’s Good: If you’re 5, this movie could be scary.  Lea Thompson might give you a strange feeling in your no-nos too.  Or Dennis Quaid if you are so inclined.  Other than that…

Why It’s Awesomely Bad: Really, the reasons listed above for being plain bad are a little funny, but there’s so much more.  Such as: fake blood that looks like fruit punch in the water; stunningly stupid shark effects that make it resemble a soap carving; a campy, almost insulting use of the main Jaws theme; and the most awesomely bad duel between a 30-foot shark and a pair of dolphins.  That then leads to the terrible ending.  A must see bad flick.


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